11-02-2010, 11:16 PM
Did I say "phrases"? Well, I meant "phrase", but if you're lucky you may get more than one.
Here's something that I've heard a few times over the course of my life, and it always seems that whoever said it is:
a) retarded
b) just says stuff
c) fangoriously retarded
d) isn't sure about what they are saying
e) had their brain swapped with a frog, not the brain of a frog, a whole frog
Here's the phrase "Somebody's got a lot of time of their hands!".
Ok, so there are variations to this phrase ranging from:
"I can't do that, I have a life."
"How much time did you waste on that?"
"I don't have time for 'insert trivial non-time consuming action'"
So the crux of this message is that:
A - the reason a person can't do something is because they literally run out of time during reasonable hours of the day
B - something that someone else did must only have occurred because that person is a jobless hobo who literally has nothing else to do
This statement always bothers me because it displays intense ignorance.
Like seriously, if someone says they practice their Triple Bass for an hour every day, wtf is some retard thinking when they say "whoa! somebody's got a lot of time on their hands!".
Are they thinking that every non-essential action they perform is more justifiable than practicing the Triple Bass?
Most often I hear crap like this when I talk about stuff I did during highschool. When I was in highschool I was creative and un-lazy. I drew up comics all the time, I wrote skit scripts, etc etc etc. I still have this stuff on me and when someone who isn't a tool is nearby when I come across my stuff I may or may not let them see.
100% of the time my judgement is correct, and they respond with "omg, I just peed my pants, omg omg omg, help!". Then, they have a lapse in judgement, and share the funny story with some schmoe. Later on the sharer will admit that "the person I told said 'somebody's got a lot of time on their hands'". That's when my rant usually starts.
Yeah, I was in highschool, probably IN accounting class at the time, obviously I had time on my hands. Furthermore, wtf are you doing criticizing me for spending time on my old hobby? What were you doing? Watching some mind-numbing sport on TV? Way to go hero. Is it because my hobby was literally "doing silly stuff" that you think I had "way too much time on my hands"? You think that if a person was stuck on a desert island for 10 years they'd resort to <insert name of criticized use of time here> ? Yeah retard, yeah.
Also, I've heard this for things that took me literally 10 minutes to do. Like for example... I don't really remember it clearly, but I think I wrote a C program to do the quadratic equation back before everything on the internet could do that. It took me 10 minutes, and saved me time on assignments. Someone actually said "someone's got a lot of time on their hands". I think I replied "We're in highschool, and it took me 10 minutes. Are you an idiot?", "it's just a saying...", "no no... you're an idiot, thanks for coming out".
So, what about the other variant "I don't have time for this, I have a life"? Ok, when you're talking about typing 5 words on a message board, are you so incredibly inept that you LITERALLY can't execute that action in a trivial amount of time? Or did you just accidentally pick the most arrogant response from a hat? Maybe I'm wrong and the only computer in your village is located atop the troll infested summit of Mt Unwaiveringtornado, but I'm going to assume that you're just being a tool.
Maybe your "life" consists of being under the sea, but then again, it's more likely that you're just a tool.
There is a big difference between "I don't really like this message board" and "I have a life, I can't visit the message board". The difference is that one can be true, and the other is probably untrue, unless you're a nomad.
Saying you don't have time for a trivial task because "you have a life" insinuates that:
A) The task is non-trivial
B) You are the most important person alive
A is clearly untrue because the crux of this message pivots on this being a response to something trivial. For example, I can definitely use "I don't have time for that, I have a life" if someone asks me to go to a hockey game, or any other thing that needlessly steals 4 hours of your life. Now, if a hockey game only took half an hour, I would have to change my response to "no, I hate watching hockey, it kills my brain".
B is clearly untrue because merely by being a person who we can interact with, eliminates you from this category.
So, in conclusion:
"I have a life, I don't have time for i<trivial task>" makes you sound like an arrogant liar who is afraid of giving real excuses.
"Somebody's got a lot of time on their hands!" makes you sound like an ignorant, pompous, idiot.
Disclaimer:
I know I'll get a "somebody's got a lot of time on their hands" as a reply, so, I'll predict the future on that one, then alter it to something else.
Here's something that I've heard a few times over the course of my life, and it always seems that whoever said it is:
a) retarded
b) just says stuff
c) fangoriously retarded
d) isn't sure about what they are saying
e) had their brain swapped with a frog, not the brain of a frog, a whole frog
Here's the phrase "Somebody's got a lot of time of their hands!".
Ok, so there are variations to this phrase ranging from:
"I can't do that, I have a life."
"How much time did you waste on that?"
"I don't have time for 'insert trivial non-time consuming action'"
So the crux of this message is that:
A - the reason a person can't do something is because they literally run out of time during reasonable hours of the day
B - something that someone else did must only have occurred because that person is a jobless hobo who literally has nothing else to do
This statement always bothers me because it displays intense ignorance.
Like seriously, if someone says they practice their Triple Bass for an hour every day, wtf is some retard thinking when they say "whoa! somebody's got a lot of time on their hands!".
Are they thinking that every non-essential action they perform is more justifiable than practicing the Triple Bass?
Most often I hear crap like this when I talk about stuff I did during highschool. When I was in highschool I was creative and un-lazy. I drew up comics all the time, I wrote skit scripts, etc etc etc. I still have this stuff on me and when someone who isn't a tool is nearby when I come across my stuff I may or may not let them see.
100% of the time my judgement is correct, and they respond with "omg, I just peed my pants, omg omg omg, help!". Then, they have a lapse in judgement, and share the funny story with some schmoe. Later on the sharer will admit that "the person I told said 'somebody's got a lot of time on their hands'". That's when my rant usually starts.
Yeah, I was in highschool, probably IN accounting class at the time, obviously I had time on my hands. Furthermore, wtf are you doing criticizing me for spending time on my old hobby? What were you doing? Watching some mind-numbing sport on TV? Way to go hero. Is it because my hobby was literally "doing silly stuff" that you think I had "way too much time on my hands"? You think that if a person was stuck on a desert island for 10 years they'd resort to <insert name of criticized use of time here> ? Yeah retard, yeah.
Also, I've heard this for things that took me literally 10 minutes to do. Like for example... I don't really remember it clearly, but I think I wrote a C program to do the quadratic equation back before everything on the internet could do that. It took me 10 minutes, and saved me time on assignments. Someone actually said "someone's got a lot of time on their hands". I think I replied "We're in highschool, and it took me 10 minutes. Are you an idiot?", "it's just a saying...", "no no... you're an idiot, thanks for coming out".
So, what about the other variant "I don't have time for this, I have a life"? Ok, when you're talking about typing 5 words on a message board, are you so incredibly inept that you LITERALLY can't execute that action in a trivial amount of time? Or did you just accidentally pick the most arrogant response from a hat? Maybe I'm wrong and the only computer in your village is located atop the troll infested summit of Mt Unwaiveringtornado, but I'm going to assume that you're just being a tool.
Maybe your "life" consists of being under the sea, but then again, it's more likely that you're just a tool.
There is a big difference between "I don't really like this message board" and "I have a life, I can't visit the message board". The difference is that one can be true, and the other is probably untrue, unless you're a nomad.
Saying you don't have time for a trivial task because "you have a life" insinuates that:
A) The task is non-trivial
B) You are the most important person alive
A is clearly untrue because the crux of this message pivots on this being a response to something trivial. For example, I can definitely use "I don't have time for that, I have a life" if someone asks me to go to a hockey game, or any other thing that needlessly steals 4 hours of your life. Now, if a hockey game only took half an hour, I would have to change my response to "no, I hate watching hockey, it kills my brain".
B is clearly untrue because merely by being a person who we can interact with, eliminates you from this category.
So, in conclusion:
"I have a life, I don't have time for i<trivial task>" makes you sound like an arrogant liar who is afraid of giving real excuses.
"Somebody's got a lot of time on their hands!" makes you sound like an ignorant, pompous, idiot.
Disclaimer:
I know I'll get a "somebody's got a lot of time on their hands" as a reply, so, I'll predict the future on that one, then alter it to something else.