Gronk surveyed the battlefield. It had rained the previous day, so the ground was just a brown muddy mess in spots and otherwise barren and rocky. Only a few skirmishers were out so far, but that would change soon enough. Battle horns were starting to blow on each side commanding the armies to the lines for today's events.
Goblins weren't generally allowed on the field when there was any real fighting going on. They too easily got hurt or even killed while being out there with the much bigger combatants. Gronk decided he should hurry across, and hopefully avoid any conflicts. He scampered up the little ridge and out into the field. He trotted along trying to quickly cross to the other side but it would take a while with his little legs. He had packed too much stuff to really run to speed things up either.
Along the way he saw a few weapons that had been broken in previous fighting or just dropped from carelessness. There was the occasional ear and digits of fingers and toes that had been missed for battle trophies. The local healers were cleaning up with their regrowth potions. More small appendages were lost these days than lives. It took more skill to cut off an ear in battle than out right killing someone.
Out right deaths were rare these days except for battle royale days, and those only happened when it was deemed that each side had grown to populace. The local humans could only support a certain sized force of orcs and ogres and the ogre kings knew this. For their part, all the orcs and ogres were happy to kill each other on those special days, and not the rest of the time. As long as they got to keep fighting on a regular basis they were happy.
Gronk hurried across the field as fast as possible, but mud and rocks along the way made it extremely difficult. Suddenly he heard a loud creaking noise and then a louder whoosh. He looked back and saw that catapult had fired off its first volley of rancid meat with a touch of acid and itching powder. Things would escalate very fast now. He could only watch as the payload spread out from the bucket of the catapult, reach the top its arch and then go raining down through the enemy lines.
A defiant roar went up down the line where the meat hit the combatants with no real damage. Most didn't even bother to wipe the mess off. Those were the ones that were in for trouble. After the initial roars died down, Gronk could hear a slow buzz begin to form. A yelp here, a cry out there, and quickly the enemy line fell into disarray. Orcs and ogres were running everywhere howling in pain from the acid, and scratching themselves all over at the same time. Gronk could hear roars of laughter behind him, with Argnar being the loudest. The goblin servants on that side battle would have to figure out how to clean them up quickly.
Gronk took the opportunity to cover as much ground as possible. He left the laughter behind him and ran as fast as his little legs would take him. He got half way across the field before the goblins had gotten organized enough to start cleaning up the orcs and ogres. They had setup a large barrels filled with water to start spraying down the orcs. The first orc hit howled in outrage. He grabbed up the goblin hosing him down and throttled him. The rest of the goblins, quickly reassessed their plans and found new barrels, these filled with beer instead. Taking a bath with water was a vile thing for orcs and ogres, but being sprayed down with beer was quite another thing entirely.
Now they all fought to get to the front of line to get sprayed off. Order was soon brought to bear by the ogre leaders, only after they had been washed off themselves and drunk enough beer to start to wobble.
Now volleys of rock passed back and forth across lines. This generally caused more structural damage than injuries as most of the rocks were easily spotted and avoided. Gronk did have to pay attention to the skies now for bits and pieces that didn't exactly make their full trajectory.
He continued carefully on and got another quarter of the way across the field when the horns blew.
"Oh, no," the little goblin groaned. Hand to hand combat was about to begin. Goblins on the battlefield usually didn't last very long. More often they were just trampled than actually attacked by a weapon. It was still dangerous regardless. As soon as the horns blew chaos erupted on both sides. Creatures broke the lines in mass heading towards their enemies as fast as possible. Gronk looked around and found a large stone that had been shot from a catapult long ago, but never quite made it to its target. He hid behind it as the wall of orcs and ogres came rushing towards him.
Orcs and ogres of all shapes and sizes came running by yelling and screaming. Several climbed and jumped off the rock over goblin's hiding place. One particularly large ogre did the same, but he was so big that his weight made the rock start to shift and come down on the little goblin. Gronk jumped to the side and was nearly trampled by another ogre racing by, and then it was over. Everyone able to fight had already gone past. He could he the clash of weapons behind him. He took a quick look. Both groups were thoroughly enjoying themselves. Cuts and bruises abounded. One orc had even recently lost his arm, but the huge smile on his face seemed to say "Its only a fleshwound."
Gronk didn't sit around and wait. Both sides were often called back during the day to regroup and reform lines. It was just the first battle of the day that was the most chaotic and aggressive.
Suddenly Gronk heard the loud whoosh of catapults again. Someone apparently jumped the gun for, the chimpanzees had been unleashed. The large mass of primates scattered up into the air from the propulsion of the various catapults. After reaching varying distances and heights their individual parachutes deployed and they started floating down. And they were pissed. A mild laxative had been given to each one, about half an hour before their launch. Pooh was being thrown this way and that. Neither side was safe. Some chimps apparently received more laxitives than others. These few weren't throwing anything. The short flight had scared half to death as well. They couldn't seem to control themselves or care, and pooh showers were errupting up and down the battlefield.
The amount of pooh raining down would have been impressive if it wasn't so gross. Normally, orcs and ogres aren't opposed to rolling around in a little fecal matter here and there, but the sheer volume here, was even overwhelming for them. Everyone started to scramble back to their respective camps. Landmines abounded, causing practically everyone to slip and fall a some point in their frantic haste to get out of the open. The lucky ones only slipped and fell with pooh on their feet and shoes. Unlucky ones landed face first in small piles starting to collect around the field.
Gronk watched everything unfold with fascination, until a chimpanzee spotted him. Infuriated by seeing one of the goblins that had loaded up all the chimps for lift off to begin with, this particular chimpanzee started hooting and hollering gaining the attention of all the other chimps in the immediate vicinity. Gronk was now the target of all. A frenzy of pooh bombs were being hurled his way. He zigged and zagged trying to get away. The only problem was that once he got out of the range of one, he had gone under and was now a target for a new chimp. He ran as fast as his little legs would carrying his. Trying to use the terrain to his best advantage. Fortunately he was a small target and had not been hit thus far.