Tavern Forums

As rojerton put it, (a bit better than how I was explaining it) what I'm really looking for is different weird scenarios the Gronk, our goblin "hero" will be faced with along his journey and how he deals with them. Just keep in mind it has to somehow connect in with everything else. Here's an idea I already have in mind to put in the story:

He comes across and scary village. All the building and brick or stone with all kind of spikes along the roofs. Everything is red and smells acrid. This town is along his path so he must go through it. (This will be a continued theme. He has a path direction that he must follow no matter what happens to be in the way. No deviation or at least very little from the path is allowed without some kind of outside intervention) As he gets closer he can see several pools of blood. Gronk is scared off course but keeps going. A few people are out walking the streets. They are all dirty with dried blood stains on all their clothes. Most have some kind of large knife attached to their belt, and everyone is rather large and muscular. A huge man with a large butcher knife steps out of the building nearest to Gronk and spots him. Gronk freezes. The man cheerily says hello and comes out to greet little Gronk. The man and everyone else in the village is as friendly as can be. The real story about what is going on is very simple. It rains cows. Getting outside of town there is real rain, but inside the town proper when it rains, it rains down cows out of the sky. The spikes are there to help quickly kill the animals as they will end up dying regardless because of the great fall. The blood drains out and down the gutters and into the pools Gronk saw. Almost everyone in the town is a butcher, explaining the knives. They all butcher the cattle and sell it fresh or salted to various places all around. There are several other towns with similiar issues. One rains chickens, but they've setup nets to catch them, since the chickens can somewhat fly. Another town rains fish. The humans had to leave because of the smell, but a clan of cat people moved in and love the place. No one knows why it rains animals, it just suddenly started happening and the people just adapted. There was also a elven settlement where it started raining pigs. They all left very quickly as they were extremely drewish. (yes the pun is fully intended, but I may have to figure out the spelling or whatever) The people hear his story and supply him up and send him happily on his way.

That was more drawn out than I thought it would be, but hopefully you get the idea of the kind of thing I'm looking for. So, any ideas, please feel free to post them here.

I like that idea

Now you see the random craziness I'm looking for. I honestly don't have a whole lot of individual ideas figures out yet. Maybe a trip to the moon, and a village of giants that aren't actually giants, but beyond that, I haven't really thought out much more. I've just got enough going right now to get through the setup and start off the whole plot with a few tidbits here and there.

There you go. This topic is a good deal more inspiring.

Now I want to think of something!

Assuming this ever gets published, real contributors get a free copy or two and an acknowledgement.

Why must Gronk travel along a set path from which he must not wander? Maybe because:

He was punted into the Isles of Hamsterbane! A normal compass is useless in such situation because of the crazygonuts magnetic fields plaguing the lands. The only way to leave the islands and return to your home is by following a maaaaaaagic compass. This compass points the way to the next location on your journey, and only once you reach that destination will the compass update itself to the next point along your way.
Heh, just kidding on the above.

Ok, here's a real suggestion:
Gronk enters a town filled with toothless elves. Because they have no teeth they can only eat baby food, thus, they are the biggest supplier of squash and gourds in all the lands. They have a problem though, because they live in a valley there is no efficient means of transporting waste out of their town, it piles up and contributes to disease. Gronk and his creative mind sets to work and solves their problem with one fell swoop. He advises them to carefully hollow out their gourds when making baby food, then they can fill the gourds with garbage, cover them with shellac, and sell them as decorative ornaments!

Hmm, maybe not.

I actually like both those ideas as well..being punted to some strange isle would be pretty good in a story. A town of toothless elves would be pretty funny too though I'm not sure about them living in their own waste and selling it as ornaments.

My suggestion: They are all toothless because of some...angry dwarf dentist who's been seeking his revenge on the elves so he became a dentist to make them all toothless. Now that they are toothless they aren't so fair and can't eat meat so the dwarf gets to keep more meat for himself. And let's say he does something with the teeth...I don't know...something like...turns them into elven tooth dust and sells it to some weird mage for some crazy magic??

I figured they were toothless because they evolved over the countless ages of eating nothing but the bountiful supply of squash. Who needs teeth when you never chew?

Maybe Gronk can make them dentures out of sticks. Just imagine an elf with no teeth, but little sticks tied to it's face to help defend against predators.