13-06-2009, 03:45 AM
Yes, Apple is gay.
Here are a list of reasons why I hate Apple computers and their products:
1 - The bulk majority of their user base are too stupid to use a functional computer.
2 - The bulk majority of the people mentioned in the column above *think* the reason they have to use a Mac instead of a PC is rationally justified. These people are wrong, and too stupid to know they're wrong. Kind of like idiots who think they take an amazing shortcut, but it adds 20 minutes to their travels, every day, and they flagrantly insist that anyone traveling with them should take their shortcut because it only makes good sense to travel efficiently. Morons.
3 - Their marketing ploys suggest that when you sit down at a mac you're probably going to "author a movie", whereas if you try to do the same with a PC you'll probably die trying. Of course, this is moronic.
4 - The iPod can't play the bulk majority of audio books. This cripples their functionality when compared to real MP3 players like the ones put out by Creative Labs.
5 - They've made their entire product line flagrantly dumbed down and girlish to the point that, as an educated male, I am repulsed by anything with the Apple trademark thus sabotaging my desire to purchase an iPod Touch (which is the only non-useless thing they offer).
6 - They put tilt sensors into their laptops just to be gay, then somehow suggest that the lack of a balance sensor in most PC based Laptops is odd and constitutes a deficiency.
7 - The fact that the MacBook Air was preceded by a laptop that was a few mm thinner than it. So, when it came out, it wasn't the thinnest, but it sure was the gayest.
8 - How idiots exist that think that mac actually copyrighted some useful things.
9 - The fact that this list can't end because there is no end to the animosity I feel toward these retarded products.
Etc.
Now, you're probably thinking: "LOL! But Every1z has a iPod or N iPhone! ROFLZX0R!"
To which I would reply: "You are an idiot, so are the majority of all people. This does not make me want to be an idiot."
The other day my uncle was at the local Laptopery picking out the latest family attraction when, to my horror, he informed me that the salesman was trying to sell him a MacBook. Oh my freaking gosh. Are you kidding me? Do you know what his pitch was?
"Most business people use MacBooks because they're so reliable."
"MacBooks never get virus' so you'll never have a problem!"
First of all, most business people actually need to install software on their laptop, thus ruling out the MacBook from the start. I have never seen a businessman, unless they were in the "showing people webpages on their laptop" business, or the "retouch digital photos" business, use a freaking MacBook.
Secondly, there are Mac Virus', but they are as common as Mac compatable software, so the chance of getting them (and the software) is equally slim. Reminds me of the old analogy: "The safest body of water to go fishing at is your toilet, but don't expect to catch anything but shit."
So, after a salesman hooks the unsuspecting retard with promises of freedom they get their macbook and a copy of adobe photoshop (2x the price of an actual laptop, PLUS software costs). Then they think that only mac's can run graphical applications. Then hordes of people are tricked into thinking that a mac, a freaking mac, can run graphical applications better. What's worse is that reputable artists to sign up to that BS. "Oh man, the screen is so big and nice, and the graphic processing is so fast". WTF! Are you kidding me? The screen is made by freaking SAMSUNG you freak, you think you can't get a nice screen for a PC? If you tried to pay the same you did for your MAC as you can for a PC you could get the megapimp of all screens, trust me. You could probably even get the clear over pastel finish if you really wanted it. What's more is that the hardware is identical since Intel ate Mac's face. The fact of the matter is that there is no computational advantage to using a Mac, it just costs more, and runs the gayest operating system of all time. Way to go hero.
I think the next time I hear "I had video, and I just plugged it into my mac and it just worked, right out of the box! Lol!" I'm going to gatling punch a school of porpoises through the Baring Straight. Seriously. Are you kidding me? That's the marketing ploy? Get the stupidest person ever to explain their experience with Mac's auto-driver install? Has Windows *not* had that since the dawn of time? What are they marketing against? FreeBSD?
Those mac vs PC commercials are so incredibly stupid.
"What are you doing today PC?"
"Oh, I'm going to work on some spreadsheets, what about you mac?"
"Oh, I just finished authoring a movie, and now I'm going to produce some artwork and maybe some songs or chat with friendsLOL!"
Give me a break, do they honestly think they're tricking anyone by saying that a PC can only do spreadsheets? Are they really fooling anyone into thinking that Windows Vista just plain doesn't work? I think the majority of all computers in the world beg to differ.
Here's how I would change that conversation:
"What are you doing today PC?"
"Oh, I'm playing Counterstrike 5, while I run some PLC simulations. I think I might install Adobe Premier later to get those home movies out of the way. What are you doing mac?"
"Oh, I'm licking my mom's face."
"Well that's fagtarded mac, that's why I always push you down the stairs."
"Waaaaaaaaaaaaahiwearpurpleshirtsandargylesockstobed"
I want a good MP3 player that can play everything, movies, you name it. Plus I want cool applications. So you might think I'd want an iPod Touch. No, I want audio books too. So I have to get a creative MP3 player because they're far more functional as a media player. But... then I can't go on the internet. My only choice is the PSP, dang PSP, why are you so huge?
Ugh.... Ok, on to my 8th point. What the hell is wrong with all you mac fans? Seriously, every time I see a demonstration of a multi-touch interface (simply an interface with more than one control point) I will invariably see a comment by some idiot to the tune of "LOL! Multitouch! Apple copyrighted!". At that point I lay the smack down, and everyone gets a good laugh, except the idiot who made the comment who doesn't know he's been smote and goes his ignorant way contented. If there was some device that translates textual burnination into real physical damage I'm sure he probably would have been mortally wounded, but anyway.....
No, "multi-touch" was not an Apple patent. It was first introduced by Bell Labs (yes, in Canada) in 1984. Yes, a freaking million years ago. The only reason idiots like the one described above even THINK that apple invented this technology is because the first exposure the common moron has to "multi-touch" is the freaking iPhone or other mac retardery.
Anyway, as per everything, I am clearly right, and apple is retarded, they would be less retarded if their fan base was less retarded. Alas, they've attracted so many flies that I'm keeping myself away from any potentially interesting hardware they may put out.
If you don't believe me, ask Maddox how he feels about the iPhone.
I'm happy-go-lucky compared to him.
Here are a list of reasons why I hate Apple computers and their products:
1 - The bulk majority of their user base are too stupid to use a functional computer.
2 - The bulk majority of the people mentioned in the column above *think* the reason they have to use a Mac instead of a PC is rationally justified. These people are wrong, and too stupid to know they're wrong. Kind of like idiots who think they take an amazing shortcut, but it adds 20 minutes to their travels, every day, and they flagrantly insist that anyone traveling with them should take their shortcut because it only makes good sense to travel efficiently. Morons.
3 - Their marketing ploys suggest that when you sit down at a mac you're probably going to "author a movie", whereas if you try to do the same with a PC you'll probably die trying. Of course, this is moronic.
4 - The iPod can't play the bulk majority of audio books. This cripples their functionality when compared to real MP3 players like the ones put out by Creative Labs.
5 - They've made their entire product line flagrantly dumbed down and girlish to the point that, as an educated male, I am repulsed by anything with the Apple trademark thus sabotaging my desire to purchase an iPod Touch (which is the only non-useless thing they offer).
6 - They put tilt sensors into their laptops just to be gay, then somehow suggest that the lack of a balance sensor in most PC based Laptops is odd and constitutes a deficiency.
7 - The fact that the MacBook Air was preceded by a laptop that was a few mm thinner than it. So, when it came out, it wasn't the thinnest, but it sure was the gayest.
8 - How idiots exist that think that mac actually copyrighted some useful things.
9 - The fact that this list can't end because there is no end to the animosity I feel toward these retarded products.
Etc.
Now, you're probably thinking: "LOL! But Every1z has a iPod or N iPhone! ROFLZX0R!"
To which I would reply: "You are an idiot, so are the majority of all people. This does not make me want to be an idiot."
The other day my uncle was at the local Laptopery picking out the latest family attraction when, to my horror, he informed me that the salesman was trying to sell him a MacBook. Oh my freaking gosh. Are you kidding me? Do you know what his pitch was?
"Most business people use MacBooks because they're so reliable."
"MacBooks never get virus' so you'll never have a problem!"
First of all, most business people actually need to install software on their laptop, thus ruling out the MacBook from the start. I have never seen a businessman, unless they were in the "showing people webpages on their laptop" business, or the "retouch digital photos" business, use a freaking MacBook.
Secondly, there are Mac Virus', but they are as common as Mac compatable software, so the chance of getting them (and the software) is equally slim. Reminds me of the old analogy: "The safest body of water to go fishing at is your toilet, but don't expect to catch anything but shit."
So, after a salesman hooks the unsuspecting retard with promises of freedom they get their macbook and a copy of adobe photoshop (2x the price of an actual laptop, PLUS software costs). Then they think that only mac's can run graphical applications. Then hordes of people are tricked into thinking that a mac, a freaking mac, can run graphical applications better. What's worse is that reputable artists to sign up to that BS. "Oh man, the screen is so big and nice, and the graphic processing is so fast". WTF! Are you kidding me? The screen is made by freaking SAMSUNG you freak, you think you can't get a nice screen for a PC? If you tried to pay the same you did for your MAC as you can for a PC you could get the megapimp of all screens, trust me. You could probably even get the clear over pastel finish if you really wanted it. What's more is that the hardware is identical since Intel ate Mac's face. The fact of the matter is that there is no computational advantage to using a Mac, it just costs more, and runs the gayest operating system of all time. Way to go hero.
I think the next time I hear "I had video, and I just plugged it into my mac and it just worked, right out of the box! Lol!" I'm going to gatling punch a school of porpoises through the Baring Straight. Seriously. Are you kidding me? That's the marketing ploy? Get the stupidest person ever to explain their experience with Mac's auto-driver install? Has Windows *not* had that since the dawn of time? What are they marketing against? FreeBSD?
Those mac vs PC commercials are so incredibly stupid.
"What are you doing today PC?"
"Oh, I'm going to work on some spreadsheets, what about you mac?"
"Oh, I just finished authoring a movie, and now I'm going to produce some artwork and maybe some songs or chat with friendsLOL!"
Give me a break, do they honestly think they're tricking anyone by saying that a PC can only do spreadsheets? Are they really fooling anyone into thinking that Windows Vista just plain doesn't work? I think the majority of all computers in the world beg to differ.
Here's how I would change that conversation:
"What are you doing today PC?"
"Oh, I'm playing Counterstrike 5, while I run some PLC simulations. I think I might install Adobe Premier later to get those home movies out of the way. What are you doing mac?"
"Oh, I'm licking my mom's face."
"Well that's fagtarded mac, that's why I always push you down the stairs."
"Waaaaaaaaaaaaahiwearpurpleshirtsandargylesockstobed"
I want a good MP3 player that can play everything, movies, you name it. Plus I want cool applications. So you might think I'd want an iPod Touch. No, I want audio books too. So I have to get a creative MP3 player because they're far more functional as a media player. But... then I can't go on the internet. My only choice is the PSP, dang PSP, why are you so huge?
Ugh.... Ok, on to my 8th point. What the hell is wrong with all you mac fans? Seriously, every time I see a demonstration of a multi-touch interface (simply an interface with more than one control point) I will invariably see a comment by some idiot to the tune of "LOL! Multitouch! Apple copyrighted!". At that point I lay the smack down, and everyone gets a good laugh, except the idiot who made the comment who doesn't know he's been smote and goes his ignorant way contented. If there was some device that translates textual burnination into real physical damage I'm sure he probably would have been mortally wounded, but anyway.....
No, "multi-touch" was not an Apple patent. It was first introduced by Bell Labs (yes, in Canada) in 1984. Yes, a freaking million years ago. The only reason idiots like the one described above even THINK that apple invented this technology is because the first exposure the common moron has to "multi-touch" is the freaking iPhone or other mac retardery.
Anyway, as per everything, I am clearly right, and apple is retarded, they would be less retarded if their fan base was less retarded. Alas, they've attracted so many flies that I'm keeping myself away from any potentially interesting hardware they may put out.
If you don't believe me, ask Maddox how he feels about the iPhone.
I'm happy-go-lucky compared to him.