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"What else?" the general asked.

"Let's see..." The engineer looked down his inventory list. "We imported some chimpanzees."

"Why?"

"I'm glad you asked," the engineer said with a grin. "We load them all up in the catapult with parachutes on, and shoot them out over the field. They then float down over the other army throwing their own pooh."

"Devious..."

"We severely overfed them last night too," the engineer chuckled. Argnar giggled as well clapping his hand, like a small child up to some miscief.

"That's not the best part though."

"You have more?"

"Yes. We thought up the best weapon ever!"

"What is it?" the general said with skepticism. Pooh flinging chimpanzees was pretty good.

"What is the most awful, terrible, revolting, and despicable thing that orcs and ogres hate and fear the most?"

Argnar scratched his head in thought. His eyes then lit up.

"You didn't?!"

"We did!"

"But how will you load it!"

"We'll get the goblins to do it. They brought it in for us."

"That is the most cunning plan I've ever heard. The enemy will running screaming from the field of battle when they see what's coming!"

"Yes! Green vegetables will rain down upon, them like... well like rain! Green beans, peas, lettuce, cabbage and even broccoli!"

"No, not broccoli!" Argnar gasped. "It will be a massacre!"

"Yes I know! We even have... I almost dare not speak its name... BRUSSEL SPROUTS!" he shouted.

Several orcs nearby fainted at the mere words, 'brussel sprouts.' Argnar himself had to steady himself after being hit with a strong wave of nausea. Gronk just shrugged his shoulders. Goblins ate roots, fruits and vegetables all the time. They just had to hide them from the orcs and ogres.

After the giant ogre quickly recovered himself, he patted the engineer on the back and said, "It will be glorious! The field of battle will be ours this day!"

The great general then stood up straight and shouted, "Gronk!" Gronk happened to be right beside Argnar and as usual was easily overlooked.

"Right here master," the goblin replied meekly.

"Fetch me my Rod of Lordly Might," he bellowed. "Its time to lead the fight."

"But its in your pants," Gronk demured.

The general then reached down under bits of armor and into his pants. He had deposited the rod in a pocket the previous day.

"Oh," he said. "I meant to say, 'get my Rod of General Command and Other Stuff.'"

Gronk was sure he had seen it under the bed this morning and proceeded to head back to the general's tent.

"No, Gronk. I'm sure I dropped it out on the battlefield sometime yesterday."

"But, my Lord..." the little goblin stammered.

"No buts. Go that way out to the battlefield," he pointed. "Keeping going that way until you find it. I command it!"

Argnar was now very proud of himself. He enjoyed asserting his authority on his lessors. By commanding it, he had sealed Gronk's fate. The goblin servants were bound to their work and obligated to perform requests of them, but were able to complete those tasks in their own time and in their own way (at their own potential risk if not done quickly enough and correctly enough). If Argnar had simple said to get his rod and go to the battlefield and get it, the goblin could have gone out to the battlefield and then come back to the tent and gotten the rod and brought it to the general. But, no. The big ogre had commanded Gronk to keep going in the direction he had pointed until he found the rod. Gronk knew of quests like this. Countless other goblins had died or disappeared on pointless quests of this nature, simply because their masters were too stupid to just let the goblins do their jobs on their own.

"May I at least get a few things first?" Gronk begged.

"Yes, yes..." Argnar had already moved on to other matters.

Gronk thought about going back to the tent and getting the rod, but the command prevented him from going in that direction and searching for it, even though he knew exactly where it was. He sighed. He had at least circumvented his command for the moment by being able to pack his things first.

He went back to the goblin camp and his own small tent. He packed some clothes, a knife, a compass, a frying pan, and plenty of food. He let the other goblins know about his command, as they would end up having to cover for him, or even replace him if he never came back.

He grabbed up his pack and went back to where the ogre general was still bellowing orders, having the Rod of Command and Other Stuff, or not.

"I'm off," Gronk squeaked.

Argnar only grunted, only seeming to be barely aware that the little goblin was even there. He sighed again and made his way toward the battlefield. He checked his compass to see which direction he would have to keep following for what he thought would be the rest of his days. He stepped up over the battlements, took a depth breath, and let his journey begin.